bitter end

in

Each time I revived us with recycled air,
you lay down another brick for our crypt.
You suffocated me with lofty dreams
and the thickest smokescreens
but ignored my lifelines
tied
to other men.

I feared the dormant metal
behind the door adorned with
a misplaced fist.
I know silent fury by its charged air
a loaded threat
dulled
with plants burned to wisps.

You might have loved me once
before getting lost in a labyrinthine haze.
You sealed your fate every night
but I will not confine my world to your grave.

Call me a coward,
proclaim me a whore,
fire shots in this mausoleum
with space for two.

I’ll crawl through your blaze
to escape any death by you.

Each of your sloppy insults,
is freedom with a different name.
I carried us to this bitter end,
it’s your turn to shoulder the blame.

While you choke on your fumes,
and make the best use of your premature tomb,
I’ll finally,
finally,
breathe in the freshest of air.

panic

in

Pitch black.
Panic.

Someone’s in my bed. 

Streetlights creep in through the curtains,
revealing a back turned towards me.

Was he there when I fell asleep?
Reaching out for a clue,
my fingers graze his hair.
I hold my breath and listen to his:

In the darkness
flashes
the ghost of a smile from years ago.

It’s his bed, not mine. 

We fell asleep every night,
made a new schism every year.
Our shared sheets became traps
that tied us to the hell housed here.

I could have, would have, should have, stayed
but you don’t deserve any more of my time.

I disappear like smoke into the night,
and take with me
my overdue goodbye.

I turned on you and found me

in

I pulled off to the roadside,
respite from my longest night.

I watched lights dance across the sky
crossing galaxies to kiss the sea
before making its way to me.

At the lookout and to the stars,
I confessed my sins along with my silly dreams.
They promised to carry them home for me.

Renewed,
I weave between
love letters left unanswered
and riddles knotted between trees.

Free of the roundabouts in my mind,
a gentle moonlight revealed
the answers waiting within me.