On our second day in the hometown, I woke up to birds chirping and announcements on the speaker around 6am. I’m not sure if this is common across Vietnam, but I suspect that it played the news they felt that people should know for the day. It might have also played an anthem, but it’s hard to remember. I just wanted to squeeze more minutes of sleep before we had to get up. I had noticed a similar announcement around 5pm the day before, with snippets of English about American news… so it must be a normal thing.

We met early at the house and walked with Uncle Dad to the town center. As we walked, so many people said hi to Uncle Dad, I joked that he’s the unofficial mayor. We ended up at Tam and Nancy’s favorite breakfast place. The woman who ran this place remembered Tam and Nancy from when they were really little, and she has known Uncle Dad for years. The food here was awesome, of course, and Tam got a little extra of his favorite fried pork lard sauce? On top of his rice as a special request.

The town center is where everyone likely had shops and businesses, one of the aunties had one here too. I feel like everyone was here this morning, or almost every morning. Uncle Dad left us to go do something, but he came back with the driver, our van, some family members, and of course, cà phê sữa đá.

The family got together today because we were visiting all the shrines to pay respects to our ancestors. We drove north, away from the city center and towards farmland. Tam said they used to ride a boat, but there was so much vegetation in the water, it would be impossible. The roads became less paved, and there were less people the further we headed out. This would be the first and only time the driver didn’t honk like he did on other streets.

We visited 4 different shrines to pray and leave offerings for each branch of the family. Each family shrine was in various states of upkeep:

The first one was on a concrete lot, with some plants. The shrine was made of concrete, and painted a blue-green. It kept everyone cool while we prayed and the sun rose higher in the sky.
The second one almost seemed abandoned. Tam said that a family used to live here and maintained its upkeep, but they had gotten older and moved closer to town. No one has kept it up consistently since. We cleared a path through the tall grass and prayed to the shrine outside.
The third shrine was located on farmlands that belonged to Tam’s grandfather, Auntie Mom’s dad. The shrines were outside, but adorned in a beautiful white marble. Behind it was a building where the local birds flew in and out to create birds nests. One of his uncle’s businesses is collecting and selling these birds nests, which we know as a delicacy. From what I hear, the expanse of the farmlands were much larger, but some of them were sold.
The fourth shrine was at one of the relative’s homes, I can’t remember who. But they were slowly building the shrines for the 4 different bodies who lay here. The shrine was in a garden behind the house and was being cleaned when we visited. When they were all little, Tam and Nancy joked with Andrew that he would be left behind if he didn’t carry his drinks to the car from the garden once. He stubbornly didn’t put it down even though it was hard for him to carry. It was here that I also saw and held the biggest mango I had ever seen in my life.

I looked at the fields and thought about how Tam and Nancy likely aren’t interested in the work that people did on these farmlands. The family members close to our age likely aren’t interested in that kind of work either, so who continues it when the people working now are gone? Who would want to do that kind of work when capitalism discounts these skills in favor of more profitable ones? I also thought about how much labor they put in to carrying for it and creating life from it, for their produce to be bought and sold for cheaper because the dollar is stronger. I thought about how the grandparents understood the earth better, but that knowledge was lost to other opportunities, another thread in the family history lost to time.

On the way back, we turned north again, away from the city center. Uncle Dad wanted to show us the Cambodian border. There was a single entrance and exist flanked by a concrete base. Further in, was a tan building 2 level building. There was probably one lane on each side of the building to manage the incoming and outgoing border crossings. Maybe one day we’ll go.

After visiting everybody, I wondered what it’s like to miss a place you once called home. How do you choose your final resting place? Is it in the lands that call you home or the home that you adopted?

On this day, I also met Tam’s relative, who I’m calling Auntie Grandma. She’s close to Uncle Dad, and they talk every day on his morning walks. She has lived in Texas for years and said that this was her last time visiting Vietnam because she was too old. She said Vietnam was hotter than she remembered, and she couldn’t handle it anymore, but also kept giving out the money she had because she knew how hard everyone here works. She planned to here longer but wanted to head back sooner.

Auntie said she reminded me of her grandchildren, because they’re Filipino like me. She kept calling me baby and feeding me food, Tam thought it was hilarious. She said she used to hang out with all the Filipino ladies when she first moved to Texas and they would share food. When we got back to the family house, she read all our palms. She told me to be careful about my health when I turn 33, I’m sensible, like to save, but when I feel spendy, I spend. She told Tam that we’re lucky with each other and that he’ll never go hungry. You’ve seen how we eat, so you know that’s true.

Later that evening, we visited a teacher friend of Uncle Dad to say hi and headed to a relative’s house for dinner. The whole family was here, with Uncle Dad’s closest friends, and we ate a bunch of seafood. I also had Cambodian beer for the first time, it was really light but very strong. Uncle Dad said he had to special order 2 months ago so it would be here in time.

Me: Did you special order it for me?
Uncle Dad: No, but you can have some.

I ate so much and got so drunk with Jesse. We kept doing family toasts with everyone, and Tam and Nancy were called lightweights. They can actually hold their liquor better; they just didn’t feel like drinking. It was a true miracle I didn’t have a hangover the next day.

It was really a fun night and I heard we were eating more the next day. Couldn’t wait!